lee christmas
Bless me Father for I have killed.
A Field Guide dedicated to the destruction of The Expendables, achieved by following the first and most important rule of combat.
Kill First
– Jean Vilain
WATCH ARCHIVAL FOOTAGE OF THE EXPENDABLES IN ACTION.
SEE IT HERE
SEE IT HERE
expendables 2
GUNNAR JENSEN
Chemical engineer. Fulbright Scholar. MIT. Harvard. Quit to be a bouncer to impress a girl. So there you go.
DOB: November 3, 1957
Height: 6’5
Weight: 242 lbs.
Weapon of Choice: Grenade Launcher
Psych Profile: A mess. Addict? Drunkard? Brain damaged? Autistic savant? All of the above?
Idiosyncrasies: Brilliant, if inept.
SHURIKEN
If your foe seems hot under the collar, then these throwing stars provide some ventilation.
In Japanese Shuriken means “a sword hidden in the hand”.
Improvise them from needles, nails, knives, coins and washers.
Expertly fashion them from metal into beautiful specimens of lethal art.
And then throw them.
EAGLE CLAW
Yin Yang is an expert in Fānziquán kung-fu. He is shorter than you. And he is much, much quicker.
His feet strike faster than a cobra and they are twice as deadly.
His hands tumble like water with the claws of an Eagle.
His two fists are fast like the falling rain drops and move like a snapping whip.
Kill Him First.
LEE CHRISTMAS
Ross’s worthy right hand man, Lee Christmas is a former British SAS soldier and an expert at close quarters knife combat. Also an expert wise-ass.
DOB: September 12, 1967
Height: 5’9
Weight: 175 lbs.
Weapon of Choice: Throwing Knives
Psych Profile: Unquestioningly loyal to friends (strength) and women (weakness).
Idiosyncrasies: Runs with sharp objects. Texting addict. Holier than thou.
“Christmas falls early this year.”
PLUTONIUM MINE
“Imagine if six pounds of pure plutonium is powerful enough to change the balance of the world - imagine what five tons would do… Interesting, yes”
-Jean Vilain
